“People who lack internal fortitude often become victims of those who have self-discipline” Robert Kiyosaki.
Our environment affects us in more ways than we think.
One year ago, I started my journey of implementing new habits to ensure and nurture my productivity and launch into a lifelong project of intentional living.
But first…
My language was a product of society;
I didn’t realize how much “society” I had into my daily language until I felt my stomach flip upside down from that bitter aftertaste that I got every time I said things that didn’t sound like “me”.
2 years ago, my language told a story of its own, and little did I know that it had all the clues I needed to create the life I want. But guess what?
It was not my fault.
While we don’t choose our families, the place or time we’re born into, or our circumstances, the way we carry ourselves through the ups and downs of life becomes an important part of who we are.
When we don’t choose who we want to listen to, we become vulnerable to all kinds of input there is out there;
Not having role models when we need a sense of direction renders us victims of thoughts that may not belong to the way we want to view the world, and eventually feel empowered enough to take action and change it.
If we decide to see the world and the way it affects us from this angle, it becomes easier not to blame ourselves for how it affects us; for instance, our language.
Personally, it meant that I had to make some big decisions that took time to process at first, whose consequences seemed to be bigger than myself, and which required me to take risks that betrayed everything else that I’d been raised and pushed to believe about myself and the world.
Society says “talent”, I say “potential”.
I choose potential over talent.
Thanks to the ‘growth mindset’ theory, swapping the word “talent” for “potential” in my daily language was a release from the assumption that people were born with something that set them apart from one other;
Potential is more accessible, and it is something that can always be altered with practice; by using it, I got my brain trained to think that “You can get better” instead of “It is what it is”.
Also, choosing the word potential implicitly communicated to my brain that others had one too, and that played a major role in decreasing the loneliness that comes with the pressure of achievement.
Society says “hopefully”, I say “eventually”.
I choose taking action over hoping.
Let’s take a closer look into our attitude towards our response to the pandemic. How many of the decisions we made have been “helpless”?
Realizing that we have no control over our circumstances comes with a price; “hoping”. “I hope” automatically communicates to the brain that we have no control over the situation; either willingly or unwillingly.
Giving in control to a situation we could potentially have control over is an attitude that persists today. Yet, it too is not to be taken harshly.
For me, choosing “eventually” over “hopefully” in my daily language was truly life-changing. If it is a situation I know my decisions can have an impact on, “eventually” directly infers to the brain that there is still some chance for me to make a change.
… “InchAllah”.
(Literal Translation: By God’s will)
It had to eventually come to this (no pun intended, or maybe a little).
Our daily language is charged with references, whether it comes from the religion or culture we grew up in, and out of all these decisions, I struggle with this one most in practice.
The use of “inshallah” has transcended its literal meaning to become a social maneuver for a promise that will not be kept, a hesitant “no”, or early surrender of control over a situation.
In hindsight, the repercussions of not saying “ inshallah” when making plans entail a bigger implication: a lack of faith in a society that conforms to spiritual beliefs.
Society says it is vile and selfish to “want”. Instead, I decided not to take using “I want” lightly.
I was amazed by the power of “I want”, and not so surprisingly, it was a word that took a lot of courage for me to start using more often with myself and others.
It turns out, the excessive use of “I want” summons back the tale of that shepherd who lied to the villagers about seeing wolves. As a result, the one time he was telling the truth, no one believed him.
When we use “I want”, it is our truest self speaking; lying about it deceives ourselves before others, and taking it lightly is alike to pointing an arrow towards our chest and hoping that it would not hit us at some point.
I said YES to the royal “We”…
Before, I’d never quite understood what was meant by “the royal we”. Or more like, what is “royal” about it…
Turns out, the royal “we” is one of the best expressions of our common human experience. While I’m still learning how to master its use, the more I’ve referred to my tougher experiences thus far as “WE”; the less lonely I’ve found them to be.
The royal “we” is a linguistic acknowledgment of our shared humanity and the burden that comes with it; the burden of enduring disease, the burden of heartbreak, the burden of hard weather, that of loss and grief, and that of pain and suffering, in their chameleon forms.
The royal “we” is a linguistic hug, and voice of compassion that needs to be used more often as we refer to our human experience; the biggest feat is not to achieve in itself, it is to accept that we are not “one of a kind” and learn to thrive through it.
Have a productive rest of the week!
Imane Ben,
