Choosing Resilience
A Reflection on How I’m Choosing to Wake Up in a World Where I’d Rather Stay Asleep
1# The biggest hurdle to the change we want to see is the way we’ve pictured our part in the change. In other words, our expectations.
I try to be optimistic right now, but nobody believes it. Not even myself. Because I can see it all; the way nature has become a subject of disaster, the way humans have fallen into their wonderland of nightmares, and the way we wake up expecting that others in ‘’stronger’’ positions have found that magical potion to make it all stop. Not knowing what ‘’it’’ is exactly.
The way we’ve just given in to the ‘’reality of things’’ while we watch in horror the last excuses for joy being ripped away from us every time we turn on the TV. I can see it all; The way we’re all just a house of cards that’s crumbled in the face of power.
Power. No matter how we feel about the word right now, it is the only hope we have left to keep us from dissociating into the demons of guilt, madness, and fear of our own making. Right now, and when the difference between fiction and reality is a thin line, we need something to keep us going.
First, let me tell you about the Power Vampires …
And they’re thirsty for our blood once brimming with life (Or maybe they’re just mosquitos in disguise)
- Guilt
She’s always claiming to be the most misunderstood one, but she’s quite twisted; She says she has the best intentions at heart, but once she gets a hold of her prey, she can freeze their life. She has the power to make it all seem like a movie and she makes her prey feel like the unappreciated hero. She holds us in our insecurities and the little ‘’good’’ kid in us obeys. She’s quite personal too; she knows us a bit too well. Her voice is of those who beat us before; After all, how dare we be happy when others are suffering?
That’s how she keeps us inside our heads. That’s how we rot away before we see any chance of light on the outside.
2. Pleasure
She doesn’t understand why she’s here. Isn’t she what all of us want?
Well, how many times have we let go of our end goals because of her? How many promising commitments have been broken in her name? and how many of us are processing our disappointments, anger, and scares in life through her?
Her antidote? Creativity.
A world built on pleasure is a mad one. Creativity is built on meaning.
3. Fear
Unlike the first two, he has earned his place here. Fear is the thief of our inner power and he knows it. Heck, he’s even proud of it.
Fear lives up to his name pretty well. Paired with guilt, he’s unstoppable.
But fear has an ‘’approachable’’ side to himself that he wishes not to show. ‘’For their good’’, he says (only we all know for whose good it is) Fear hates to be studied; Curiosity killed the cat but being informed could have kept it alive.
4. Commitment
Oops. This one should not be here.
Commitment; is the most misunderstood demon of them all.
Commitment in the way pop culture understands it reminds me of a lot of stories with villains with a very ‘’humane’’ side to them. The villains we’d love to hate but don’t. At the same time, it peculiarly reminds me of the story of the wounded healer; the centaur. (also my zodiac symbol)
Because he’s the first step toward the end of this tragedy…
2# Where there is commitment, there is meaning, and where there is meaning, there is power.
Commitment is what brought me back here and it is what brings us all back to whatever we find meaning in. That’s right, I’m introducing a perspective to commitment where fear doesn’t have a place; whatever we are doing regularly in our lives, whatever our lives cannot ‘’be’’ without, we are committed to.
3# The world owes us nothing. We owe ourselves a ‘’better’’ life for how far we have come as a community that aspires for change. That’s why, we’d better let what we are committed to be our dreams and let go of the expectations of the good we want to see in the world.
Paired with gratitude, that’s the ultimate Power
Humans are powerless in the face of nature, but individuals are powerful in the face of their challenges.
A lot of reflections have been done on the subject of gratitude, and studies have been conducted on its effect on individuals’ lives. My journey with it has had its ups and downs.
Today more than ever, we live in a ‘’grey’’ world; the ‘’good’’ and the ‘’bad’’ are intertwined together and sides are confused all the time. The only thing we can do right now is to be fully present in every step we take, and have clearly defined goals; because ‘’here’’ is where we have to keep living, and the consequences of our decisions today are what we’re leaving for the children of tomorrow.
The time is now to assume our part in the change we want to see in the world. The time is now to embody the good we want to see in the world, and now is the best time to recognize and embrace the power we have to make that happen.
This goes beyond reclaiming our power, this is a reminder to play our part as citizens of the world.
Still unsure about this whole ‘’power’’ story? Maybe an actual story would help …
I’ve spent so much time denying my power. And I’ve wasted so much more analyzing it.
5 Steps to Step into your Power right now …
- Do not Deny it
Even now, stepping into my power seems so large for me that I’m still wrapping my head around it, but I imagine it this way:
I have been given the magical potion that would cure the world’s diseases, end wars, provide food and water to everyone, and bring back climate balance. Given that the universe was so impatient to give it to me, It gave me the whole cauldron, but I haven’t gotten enough muscles to hold it.
Now that’s some heavy power. But will I deny it because I do not have the muscles yet? Am I going to reject it because I’m doubting its worth compared to what I imagined the potion to be? Or, am I going to try and do my best with it?
2. Make Self-Esteem a Priority
Say I took the cauldron. What am I going to do with it?
Much like genies in fairytales, It didn’t come with any instructions on how to use it. The only thing I know that is I have something of value in my hands.
My whole life flashes before my eyes. I start asking myself if this is what I came here for. But while I’m thinking, the potion is starting to ooze an odor, and people are starting to notice.
They’ve sensed something has changed. Some want to take a peak at the potion, others are still wondering if such a potion even exists. But it did, for me. Others, who thought were ready for it, didn’t get chosen but I was.
5# The Universe chose me. Am I still going to choose everybody else over myself?
3. Find Meaning in your Commitments, no matter how small
I’ve made an action plan on how to put the potion to the best use of my judgment. Sometimes, I look up at the sky to check if the Universe is approving of my plan. No sign yet of approval or anything of the like.
I sigh, and I decide that I’m doing the right thing.
Some time has passed since I’ve put my plan into action, and I’m still looking for the signs. Nothing yet. I look down at my cauldron. Right now, my critical voice is starting to creep in.
‘’Maybe this is not working’’, I say, wistfully.
While I’m having that thought, an older version of me on the other side of the world is reaping the benefits of the way she has used the potion. She’s doing everything she’s ever ever dreamed of and more, things have ‘’just’’ worked out for her.
Right now, however; it doesn’t feel like that for me.
4. Practice Gratitude for your Commitments
A few days later, I heard that my grandmother (May her soul rest in peace) had used a bit of that potion, and it eased her suffering overnight.
But the effect wasn’t as ‘’great’’ as I expected. I celebrate the news, but I’m still having doubts about the effect of the potion.
While I’m having that thought, the older version of me is playing on TV giving her award-winning ceremony speech for the way she has exploited the potion.
5. Be ready to be uncomfortable. No more expectations.
By now, I’m ‘’certain’’ that I have no idea what I’m doing with the potion.
So I turn back to the Universe: ‘’Why me, Universe?’’
The Universe, busy trying to align people’s present with their future, says nothing. I go back to bed that night, quite beaten. But I couldn’t sleep, and it was at that moment that I decided to do my research on the potion.
Then, I come across an article about a familiar face who has been given the same potion before and they’re none other than an old classmate from high school who reached out to me weeks ago but I overlooked their message…
To be continued
Takeaways;
1# The biggest hurdle to the change we want to see in the wolrd is the way we’ve pictured our part in the change. In other words, our expectations.
2# Where there is commitment, there is meaning, and where there is meaning, there is power.
3# The world owes us nothing. We owe ourselves a ‘’better’’ life for how far we have come as a community that aspires for change. That’s why, we better let what we are committed to be our dreams and let go of the expectations of the good we want to see in the world.
4# The time is now to embody the good we want to see in the world.
5# The Universe chose me. Am I still going to choose everybody else over myself?
Author’s Note:
Thank you for reading! It was a lot of fun to write this article!
EDIT: Sorry for the late update. I wanted it published on a publication but it didn’t seem to happen on my timeline. Thank you for understanding and Happy Halloween for those celebrating!
Until next time, be gentle.
-Imane Ben
